Lately, people are sharing their concerns about money with me. Some are expressing future concerns – feeling they have enough money to take care of themselves now, but worrying whether they will have enough down the road. Others are feeling tired because earning the money they do have is hard work, so hard that their bodies ache. Then there are those feeling they do not have enough money right now – not enough to pay for the offices they rent to earn their livelihood.
I relate to all of these folks. I am wondering lately about how hard my husband and I work – for my husband, its physical and his body hurts. For me, its mental and sometimes fatigue sets in from all the multi-tasking and juggling. We do not live extravagantly nor do we have debt from irresponsible spending. But we work hard, often really hard, just to provide ourselves with healthy food, keep our older cars on the road, feed our animals, and pay our modest mortgage. Then, if there is a little left over, we treat ourselves to a local happy hour. Our life is that basic. I do not know how to reconcile my feelings about how hard we work with a life of peace and ease. Are we supposed to work this hard? Is that how God set it up? Or, can I see this differently?
I bring these questions to Holy Spirit; praying, my praying is actually listening for answers. Holding this prayer in my heart for several days, Holy Spirit speaks to me about my perceptions of lack, reminding me that, “A sense of separation from God is the only lack you really need correct.” (T.-1 VI. 2:1). Holy Spirit leads me in seeing how I am choosing to fragment myself into levels with different needs and creating conflict within myself. (T.-1 VI. 2:3).
I admit to Holy Spirit that some of the work I do, I do not enjoy, that I do it because we “need” the money. I admit that the bliss-work is when I am doing spiritual counseling, officiating ceremonies, even writing this article right now! I admit that I am not letting go of the fatiguing work because I want the bliss-work to be financially supporting; that I want the flow of support to come first and then I will let go.
You need to learn how to Let-Go and Receive - You need to learn how to Let-Go and Receive.
The lack I am perceiving is not really about money or sustenance. No, the core issue is co-dependent self-reliance – ‘I must be in charge of earning money because it’s all on me. I am alone in providing for my family. I cannot let go because without my control there will be no sustenance to receive.’ In truth, I am running myself ragged trying to do it all. In this separated state of lack, I feel scared, fatigued, and isolated.
Holy Spirit tells me in A Course in Miracles that, “The real purpose of this world is to use it to correct your unbelief. You can never control the effects of fear yourself, because you made fear, and you believe in what you have made.” (T.-1 VI. 4:1-2). Yet, in Truth, “All aspects of fear are untrue because they do not exist at the creative level, and therefore do not exist at all. To whatever extent you are willing to submit your beliefs to this test, to that extent are your perceptions corrected. In sorting out the false from the true, the miracle proceeds along these lines:
Perfect love casts out fear. Then there is not perfect love. Only perfect love exists. It produces a state that does not exist.
My praying with this will continue. I am opening my heart, my mind, and my soul to Holy Spirit’s lead in unravelling every tangled thread of co-dependency in me. I will be reminding myself daily that “unified needs lead to unified action” resolving all conflict. (T.-1 VI. 2:5). God is offering me freedom from dis-ease infested core beliefs, calling me to let-go of codependency and its false shield, to receive an even deeper knowing of what God is. My response is,
I am willing to learn how to Let-Go and Receive.